With My Hand on My Heart
by RoleModel2
Summary: “Just hold on.” Bobby whispers as Eames is body goes limp. [BA SHIP]
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own LOCI, or the characters.

B&A ship.

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Leaning back in his chair Bobby rubbed his hand down his face. All day Alex & him had been finishing up paperwork from their last case.

"We should hire a secretary." Eames stated as she continued to write.

Bobby smiled and leaned forward, "That would make our lives too good."

Alex raised her eyes to meet his, "Yeah, and we can't have that can we."

"Mhmm…" Bobby agreed.

"Detective Goren?" a voice asked, as the owner of the voice walked into the bullpen of major case. Bobby looked up and raised his hand. "Package for you," the man said handing Bobby a signature sheet.

"Ordering dot com items at work again?" Eames teases.

Bobby shakes his head, "Actually, I have no idea what this is."

Eames glances over at the deliveryman, who is walking quickly away, "I think you scared him off."

Bobby shrugs and continues to hide himself within his paperwork. Sighing Eames watches him for a few moments before speaking up again, "Aren't you going to open it?"

"Oh—Yeah, let me get some scissors," Bobby state standing up and walking toward the supply cabinet.

"Forget it, I'll do it," Alex declares ripping open the box. Suddenly a loud explosion erupts sending Alex flying backward into a desk behind her. Pieces of metal soar across the room, hooking into walls. Bobby ducks as pieces of metal fly at him, one slicing his arm. Looking up Bobby rushes over to Alex's side who is slumped against one of the desks.

"Eames!" Bobby screams kneeling beside her, "I need some help over here!"

"Someone call the paramedics!" Captain Ross yells in a slight panic.

"Jesus Alex." Bobby whispers his hand hovering over the two pieces of debris lodged into her torso.

"Paramedics are on their way, but it's a blizzard out there, it may take longer than usual." One of the detectives announces phone in hand.

"God this hurts." Alex whispers as she rolls her head back against the desk.

"You're losing a lot of blood," Bobby murmurs concerned.

Alex nods, "I know I figured this pool of blood I'm fathering wasn't a good thing."

Bobby smiles but then becomes serious, "Good conclusion detective---Eames I can't move you, or your body will go into shock."

Alex closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before speaking, "Bobby, if I die—"

"No." Bobby states firmly, "I'm not going to let that happen."

Alex sighs, "I'm serious Bobby…"

"So am I," Bobby whispers, taking her into his large hands. "We are Butch and the Sundance kid, you go, I go."

Alex smiles but a shiver follows it, "I'm so cold."

Bobby takes off his jacket and places it over her, "Better?"

"Mhmm," Alex groans and reaches for his hand, "Bobby I feel so tired."

Bobby immediately worried takes her tiny hands back into his own. "I need you to stay with me."

Alex nods gently, closing her eyes.

"Captain!" Bobby yells pleadingly. Captain Ross looks up at the call of his name, then crosses over to where Bobby and Eames are present.

"How is she?" Ross asks taking in Alex's pale limp appearance.

"She needs a hospital—immediately," Bobby states his voice faltering.

Ross turns to Bobby and speaks quietly, "Detective—you need to stay strong for her, she's extremely weak, I can't say for certain that she is going to make it."

Bobby nods, and Ross walks away to help other members of his injured staff. "Hey Eames, I know now is not the best time but---I'm sorry."

Alex's eyes fling open in surprise, "Excuse me?"

Bobby chuckles lightly, but sadly, "I want to apolo—"

Alex cuts him off, "out of all the times in the world you choose to apologize, you choose when I'm laying here, you choose now." Alex closes her eyes and smiles, "You are definitely something Goren."

Bobby tries to smile but fails, which in turn causes him to cover his mouth and close his eyes. Alex cocks her head slightly to the right, "hey it's going to be okay." Alex whispers, giving his hand a small squeeze.

Bobby opens his eyes letting a single tear fall down his cheek, "I—", Bobby starts but fails to continue as he searches her face for some sort of answer.

Alex lets out a sad breath and pulls his hand to press against her cheek, "how come I'm the one always getting injured on the job?"

Bobby smiles sadly and leans in so their faces are only a foot apart, "I can't lose you Alex."

Alex lets a tear escape her eye, "You'll always have me Bobby, always."

"Goren!" Ross yells from across the room. "5 minutes till EMT's arrive."

Turning back to Alex, Bobby smiles, "You hear that Eames, 5 minutes." Alex barely nods. "Alex?" Bobby questions his voice breaking into a panic.

"Hm?"

Cupping her face within her hands Bobby whispers, "I have so much I want to say to you but I can't find the words."

A few moments of them gazing into each other's eyes pass before Alex winces in pain, "Bobby I don't think I am going to make it."

Bobby takes in an unsteady breath, unable to speak.

"I'm not ready to die." Alex whispers pleadingly.

"Jesus Alex." Bobby whispers before pressing her head to his chest. Closing his eyes Bobby lays his cheek against the top of her head, hugging her small body to him.

"I'm sorry Bobby," Alex murmurs into his shirt, her voice breaking, "I'm so sorry."

Bobby squeezes his eyes shut and more tears stream down his face. "I don't think I can live without you by myside," Bobby whispers against her hair. "I am nothing without you."

Alex shakes her head against his chest, "not true, you are the best Bobby."

"I want you to know, with everything, I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul—"Bobby murmurs, "I won't let go."

"Goren! The paramedics are here!" Ross yells as a dozen paramedics burst through the doors.

"Just hold on." Bobby whispers as Eames is body goes limp.

To Be Continued...

-Valley [To Those Who Know Me Else Where


	2. What You Breathe For

Disclaimer: I still don't own LOCI.

Pacing the hospital floor, his right arm wrapped in a bandage, Bobby slightly prays to whatever god claims to be up in the sky.

"Mr. Goren?" a nurse questions walking out over to Bobby cautiously.

Bobby's head snap up, "Yes, that's me."

"Can I talk to you for moment—privately." The nurse asks nodding towards Captain Ross, and Mike Logan. Bobby nods and follows the nurse down a hallway. "Ms. Eames is in critical condition—does she have any family here?"

Bobby shakes his head, "they are trying to get here, but they are snowed in."

The nurse nods, "we have her in room 205, just past the double doors—she has to go into surgery again in 20 minutes."

Bobby's gaze goes to the double doors. The nurse continues to speak, "She was mumbling your name to the paramedics, so I am going to let you see her—but this next surgery is going to be the hardest, we have to remove a piece of metal that is lodged one centimeter below her heart…"

"Thank you." Bobby whispers, "it means a lot to me--that you're letting me see her."

The nurse nods and walks away. Slowly Bobby pushes his way through the double doors over to room 205, briefly pausing to take a deep breath before he saw her. Opening her door, his eyes close at the sight of her petite figure hooked up to tubes and monitors. Bobby opens his eyes and walks over to the chair that is placed at her bedside, taking a seat Bobby takes Alex's limp hand into his own.

"Alex, I don't know if you can hear me right now—but if you can, I want you to know that I'm sorry," Bobby whispers his voice breaking, "I'm sorry for every moment you have ever doubted me, but you can't leave me, not like this—it should be me in that position, not you—never you."

Opening her eyes, Alex smiles at Bobby, "Hey."

"Hey yourself," Bobby whispers, a small smile on his face. "How do you feel?"

"Like hell." Alex murmurs wincing at the sharp pain in her chest. "How bad is it?"

Bobby's face softened, "they say you're in critical condition, because there is a piece of metal lodged below your heart…"

"I don't feel like I'm in critical condition—shouldn't I be in a coma or something related…" Alex questions looking at all the monitors surrounding her. "What are my chances of coming out with a heart beat."

Bobby opened his mouth but nothing came out but a ragged breath.

"Bobby—" Alex whispers tears welling in her eyes.

"Even though you've seen a thousand times, I've let you down, You're always there if I call your name." Bobby whispers staring at her hand which fits perfectly inside his. "Just tell me it's okay, and I'll believe you."

Knocking on the door before entering the nurse speaks up, "Mr. Goren, we have to get her ready for surgery…"

Bobby nods, "One more minute?"

The nurse nods and closes the door. Turning back Alex, Bobby closes his eyes before speaking again, "promise me—promise me that you will make it through this Alex."

"I can't…" Alex whispers a tear rolling down her pale cheeks.

"If you go I go." Bobby murmurs before giving her hand a gentle squeeze. "I need you…"

Alex holds his gaze as nurses come in. Slowly Bobby gets escorted out, but never breaks eye contact with her until he see her mouth 'I love you' and the doors shut.


End file.
